My in-laws family knows sign language but they do not know anything about deaf culture, they think they do, but they don't. I never speak up to them cuz well im expecting my husband to do that but he is very quiet "passive" and never speak up.
Now we have daughter Bella and she is still a baby, she is hearing so far, but my concern is the "communication".
My husband's niece and nephews knows nothing about sign language, cuz they always hear and depend on adults to interpret for them. They always stare at the ceiling or walls and the in laws always have conversation first adn then at the end interpret us short. I never complained about it, cuz we only visited them once in a while.
But now we're moving to a cousin's home and we'll be much closer to the family and today we all got together there with 4 little kids, our daughter's cousin, they are adorable kids wanting to learn sign language, i was happy to know that, but what turned me off is that the in-laws did not use sign language at all in front of us. The cousin tried to use body language and little hand talking to in laws in front of us, at least they're trying and that was respectful, but in laws were so "hearing" and keep talking, i felt insulted. I sat there drinking my coffee and starring at nothing, until they finished conversation then in-laws interpret us very short. How can i explain to them to use sign language at same time they are speaking? And that they have use ASL and talk same time to our daughter cuz our sign language is a first priority language in our home.
Everytime i remind them to pls use sign language, they always say "oh i forgot, sorry" i've heard that million times, oh come on! Even our deaf friends feels insulted and offended, cuz their own son is 100% deaf, so they should know better.
I tried to find a website about it, but no luck.
Any ideas? or u have a better wording?
Please do not insult me or give me lecture about it, communication is very important to me and i need someone who understand this deaf culture, thank you.
im sorry, my husband and I are deaf
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ok…so….their son is deaf? which is your husband. I am a little confused of who is deaf. As for your daughter learning ASL that is GREAT! Do you teach her this because there is a deaf relative? or because you want her to know that and your native language?
This is a tuffy! I would just speak up (you) and let them know "hey..we find it very rude for you not to speak in ASL when you know it , and we are here visiting you, i fyou can't talk to us, then I am afraid we will have to make our visits shorter, or not at all. Till you can respect us by using ASL' or something to that affect!
I kinda know what your going through…but not really. When I was in labor with my daugter I had the NICU cheif DR telling me everything that could go wrong, because she had maconium. And one of the things were…she could be deaf, she could be blind, or she could die.. So I had to think about what I needed to do to get her out quickly and safely. But the whole thought of her being deaf made me start thinking about how I was going to have to get everyone in my family to learn ASL and to USE IT! I learned it in kindergarden, and I still remember a lot of it. NOW…there is NO WAY I could have a conversation with you…seeing how you use it fo ryour everyday language!! HA HA I am not that fast!! nor do I know the "slang words, or shorter movements" I guess You could call them!? lol
Anyway..good luck! Sorry I couldn't have been any more help!
P.S.
My daughter ended up being ok…she did however scream when she came out, but they got everything out, and she is ok so far (she'll be 2 in March).
EDIT::
ok…do they understand ALL ASL? or just the basics? maybe they are afraid to use it in front of you because they aren't that good at it!? If thats not the case, then I would simply sit on the computer tonight and type out a e-mail and send it to everyone. Letting them know how you feel, and that you are very uncomfortable with them not using the SL in front of you. And you feel you are being left out because you can not understand what they are saying, and it could be concidered quite rude. Especially if they are talking about you or your family. As for your daughter…do they talk to her? or use ASL? I would definatly write that letter/e-mail!! That is the best way to get your point accross. And if it offends anyone, then tell them…you don't HAVE to visit them! Visiting is a privledge! Not a priority! As for the kids learning….that is great they want to learn, and I would encourage you to help them learn so they can communicate with you, your husband and your daughter.
Thumbs up to you!